Louie the Cab Driver

Same boo no mobile

2010-03-13T01:46:00.001-05:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35845465/ns/us_news-life/

Kevin
sent from Droid

Boo if true

2010-03-13T01:44:00.001-05:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35845465/ns/us_news-life/

Forever marked, or just making conversation

2010-03-08T13:50:00.000-05:00

It has been fourteen months since I stopped driving a cab. I still get asked if I'm still driving. I still get the occasional phone call. I'm not sure if people so identified me with the position or they're just making small talk.

My response is a smile and I casually mention my end date. Its usually followed with an inquiry of what I'm doing now, so I suspect the latter. In no way am I defensive about the inquiry, nor am I of the belief everyone needs to follow my career as closely as I do.

I'm just blogging about it because its on my mind.

Old Habits

2010-01-01T17:44:00.000-05:00

I spoke too soon. Shortly after midnight, I got a call from a neighbor. He had a houseguest that was ready to go home, and was too drunk to drive. While not technically driving a taxi, my designated driver function came real close.

Nye2009

2009-12-31T20:29:00.001-05:00

This is the first time in five years I haven't driven a Taxi on New Years Eve. Its weird, but I have no plans.

I didn't give it much thought until my burriteur at Bajio, asked me my plans. Props for the home made style Mexican food, by the way.

Since I quit driving, even though I kept my taxi van, I've been utilizing Lextran. I mention this because fresh in my mind, is the pointless disagreement with the driver over the existance, or not, of a route, even I agree was discontinued. Hardly worth my breath, but pixels are cheap. Let it be heard, let it be said, Lextran ran an express bus to Nicholasville, Ky. around 1998 or 99. It was the other leg of #7. It was discontinued after a grant was spent out.

---
Kevin,
sent by my Droid

Out of business

2009-08-11T16:07:00.002-04:00

I read somewhere that the average tenure for a New York Cab driver was 5 years. I just about made it. I started New Years Day 2005, and quit New Years Eve 2008. If 20% off is almost. Which I would challenge if someone told me.

Of all the stories I have accumulated, the one that stands the test of time is the time I was pulled over in a road block. I have been encouraged to flesh it out and expand it and submit it somewhere. I am not sure if I have blogged it. But if I have, it will be reworked into something more of an entertainment piece.

Dr appt GP

2009-06-17T22:35:00.001-04:00

I have been eeing Dr Huang every 2mos for prescription oversight.
This time I have been concerned about my weight gain. To do something
about it, I need to rule out a resurgence of my CHF. He was
reasonably certain it was fat and not fluid. So I am free to start
working it off. As a safety net, I see Dr Gurley, my cardiologist
next month. I will press for some tests as well as get my ICD read.
Yea its fat!

--
-RK
Kevin ... K3vin ... Ke7in
http://twitter.com/ke7in
"Honest differences of opinion should never be permitted to destroy a
friendship" - Chaim Potok, The Chosen

CAREER GOAL: CHECK

2008-12-05T01:44:00.001-05:00

In the weeks before my fourth anniversary as a cab driver,

I finally got my first demand to FOLLOW THAT CAB!

Wanted: Scooby Doo Mystery Inc. Clue-puter

2008-11-12T03:51:00.002-05:00

Tonight some kid with luggage was waiting outside the bus depot. He said his bus didn't come for six hours so instead he wanted to go to capital city but only had about half the cab fare. I'd been quite profitable so I agreed to get the guy at that price.

In a bit of a power play on my part, I was going to detour him downtown to pay my electric. I mentioned this to the kid and he kind of freaked and said I could pay the bill and come back. The driver that originally talked to him pulled in and I explained I was going to pay a bill and return. Five minutes later, I did and the kid was gone. The driver said he took off walking.

I should add, when I pulled up, he brought his luggage right to the back of the cab. It was only when I mentioned the detour, that he backed off on it, and apparently had no intention on going to capital city in a cab.

I cannot figure out what was really going on.

Here are my ideas;

He had bus fare to capital city, and thats what he would pay for a cab. About half fare.
He did not trust me, and was too nervous to get in my cab.
He did not want to go downtown because there may have been police there.
He was planning on robbing me, and changed his mind, once I mentioned I had to pay my electric, I was humanized.

St. Kitts

2008-11-03T18:33:00.005-05:00

I sometimes wonder about the power of saints. I started driving about 4 years ago, and had a St. Christopher Medallion in my cab from a very early date. Periodically I would switch cabs, and it would not make the switch right away. I have had a Jesus on my dashboard recently, and I have found it keeps me nice. What I mean is, it is always within the corner of my eye, and it reminds me to be a nice guy.

This past weekend, I replaced my St. Christopher / Our lady of the High ways, visor clip and it took me a while to realize it but it was like I has a lic to print money. Granted it was Halloween weekend, and I am pretty sure I put it up on All Saints Day, and even lamented Christopher's Catholic demotion from the universal calender. see below ¹

I know it was a coincidence. But after a terrifically busy Halloween night, Saturday was rather sleepy. I slept all day, for the most part, and got to work around 11:45 pm. I had a few passengers, but nothing major. I went home relatively early, happy with the knowledge that I had been so profitable the night before.

One of my co-workers was not feeling up to a call from a hotel to the airport at 5:30, and at about 3:45 asked if I'd take it for him. I agreed, and although I was home already, I went back out with plenty of time to spare. While waiting, I fixed the long-broken window handle in my van. It had not worked for quite a while according tot he person I bought the van from. It just so happens it was the guy t hat I was covering for. The party came out, and I drove them tothe airport. They all asked for receipts, and I had to fumble around looking for them, as that does not come up for me often.

Once I came out with my hand-written receipts a woman approached me and asked if I could take her to a town 35 miles away. She was pretty unhappy about something, I could tell. She asked if I took debit, but did not, and referred her to some that most likely did. But I offered the ATM option. I think it was my willingness to compromise that kept her with me. Another way I deal with that is to let them purchase fuel for me.

Once we were on her way, I gleaned bits of her story. She was at the terminal with luggage. I assumed she had arrived. She was traveling to her future in-laws house. But as the story progressed, it became clear, the obvious was not so. Her story was, as she put it "wack". and clearly she did not want to go through the details with me. But what had happened was; she ended up at the airport with luggage two days early. Her ticket for the following day was with her ID in the town 35 miles away. It was 5:45 and she was concerned that she would even be able to wake the mother.

On the way to the atm, I had enough questions in my mind, that I asked her to confirm making this trip was her best option, and she assured me the man's mom would understand. And that this was her only option. I did not want to pry, I explained that sometimes while upset, people do not always come up with alternatives, and I wanted to put them out there in case that was so. But she assured me this was best. This is another reason, I am glad she went with me. I do not think other drivers may have been so patient with all the uncertainty in the situation.

We went on our way. She had previously attempted to sleep in the smoking lounge at the airport, but was welcome to lay down in the back seat. I had a comfortable and almost scenic drive through the palisades of the Kentucky River. By the time we got to the town, she gave me rather vague landmarks to find the condo in question. She did not have the exact street address. Not being from the town, the landmarks were not all that meaningful. But without much trouble we found the place. She paid me $86 and asked I wait to make sure she got in. Actually, I would have balanced the luggage on my head on the way in.

I drove back, $86 dollars richer, in addition to the $22 I got from the hotel run. All earned by me after I went in for the night, content in my revenue for the weekend.

I put the St. Christopher "Patron Saint of Cab Drivers" medallion on my visor on All Saints Day. This story happened the same day. I relay this to you. Draw your own conclusions.

Bonus Halloween story.

By the end of the night, I was exhausted, and one of my regulars that also lives 35 miles out of town, called me, and it was clear she was beyond common sense intoxicated. She told me where she was, but I was otherwise engaged and trying to clear up for her as best I could. She kept calling me back, and was giving me other bar names each time. I clarified, and she had not moved. Her mind was just merging a lot of bars into one. The last time I heard a man explain they were not the same thing. When I asked who she was with, she said just herself. Usually she splits the cab fare with two or three other girls that live on the same farm. That brings the fare down to about $20 a person. I cut them a break too. But usually there is one that is the most sober and I can look to them for direction. This girl was by herself. These farms have houses all over them, and I was unsure which house was hers. By the time we got to the farm, we got to her gate, and she did not have the control card. She confidently explained she would hop the fence as usual and be fine.

This was not acceptable to me. I wait until ladies get inside their homes before I drive away, and was not about to let an intoxicated woman, dressed like a playboy bunny, hop a fence and disappear into the inky blackness of Woodford County. We argued a bit, and I emphasized with her ability to accomplish her task, but explained, it was for me, as much as her. I couldn't feel good about myself, if I did not confirm she was home safe. I repeated, that I could not even see the house, she said was there. I did not fear for her safety. It was warm enough, the grass was soft enough, but I did not want her to fall asleep outside when I could prevent it. She relented. Also she did not have the full fare, but by then I had polished my shining armor and was ready to slay dragons for her.

Tattoo You, Tattoo Me, Da Plane Da Plane

2008-09-05T23:53:00.003-04:00

I was for a while complete unaltered. Unmodified. Unadorned. [...] I had my tonsils, my appendix, no piercings, no tatoos, UC, and what not. I began to feel, I was kind of the anti-radical radical. Because of the vast numbers of tattooed and pierced individuals in my social group, I was clearly the outsider. Was I square?

I came real close to getting a below the waist piercing back with Bob Andrews has Retail Hell down the block from the Parsley Peapod. But closer inspection of the procedure proved to make me de-select that option. For a while I worked at the latter, and became quite familiar with body jewelry and the different options available. I find it aesthetically pleasing to look at on others. But I do not have a compelling need to add it to myself. Even external, non pierced jewelry is rare for me. I don’t even wear a watch. I’ll buy rings, only to take them off for a shower, and forget I ever owned them.

Holes close, but tattoos are much closer to forever. The thing I always said, was, I knew of no design I would want to be forced to live with the rest of my life. Yes, I know, they can be painfully removed now. But still.

Almost 5 years ago now, I underwent the knife. My breast bone was split open, my rib cage was spread apart, and my blood was pumped through an external pumping device, while doctors, grafted new arteries to my five clogged ones. I had a quintuple bypass. This left me with a 8 inch scar down the center of my chest. My chest hair parts like a boy’s on school picture day. But as scars go, it is quite smooth. In fact, I have heard scars referred to as angry. If that is the norm, mine is downright friendly. In fact a local artist, and well a newspaper columnist described it as sexy. When I wear deep V shirts, I will once in a while field the casual inquisitor about it. It is then, I realize I do not even realize it is there.

This reminds me of the previous caveat I had about a tattoo. I did not realize, I may forget it is there. Especially if it is not where I see it regularly.

My dad was in a horrific cycle accident when I was an infant, and split his chin and jaw open, leaving an angry scar. I stopped seeing it, and was puzzled when people asked me about it. Then I remembered.

Now, for a design, I would want something culturally relevant to me. I have considered the Chinese characters, native American lore, as well as the cartoon and tattoo standards out there, but wanted it to be personal.

For me that means Norse or Teutonic. Cool. I would not have to ape someone foreign culture for a cool design. But was I? I have several European friends. They get frustrated by our obsessive clinging to our ancestral homelands. “I am Irish!” or whatever. Which kind of turned me to what is quintessentially American, or Minnesotan.

I have also considered religious iconography. Since my heart surgery, I have began purchasing Sacred Heart stuff. But very recently I recalled something I remembered from a long ago trip to the Black Hills.

Two Aces, and Two Eights, all black. Wild Bill Hickock’s “Dead Man’s Hand”. It fits me for many reasons. While I am very much alive, many consider this life to be my second coming. Before my surgery, most of my friends considered my hospital to be my death bed.

Statistically, a person that survives 5 years after my surgery, survives another 20 or so. I am surviving my 5th year. March 2009, is my five year anniversary. I wonder how this tattoo idea would be like laughing at death.

Not sure. But here I have committed my thoughts to the written word.

signs

2008-07-20T02:31:00.000-04:00

I was on my last call of the night and I saw what seemed like a
spectral light dart across the road at a railroad crossing. I don't
know how else to describe it. I got a funny feeling and decided to
quit for a bit. On the way home I stopped to get a Slurpee and when I
returned, both headlights were burned out. I drove dark to the
Supercenter and bought replacements and installed them. They worked
and as I drove away I noticed one of my tires went flat. I need to
stay off the road. My instincts have served me well thus far I am not
going to ignore them now.

Junior detective boy

2008-02-14T14:18:00.002-05:00

A year ago or so, I had a pickup at a motel. The fare ended up
running after at 30 mile ride. I filed a complaint with the local
cops. They were pretty sure they knew who the guy was, as he ducked
out right behind a woman's house that just happens to be the mother of
a local troublemaker that fit the man's description. TODAY they
have a man in custody suspected of robbery that bears a remarkable
resemblance to my runner. He was staying at the very same motel I
picked up at then. Admittedly this is all circumstantial, but I am
compelled to share what information I have. The guy seemed very smug.

--
[Kevin]
sent from my Samsung u740

PA

2007-12-15T05:50:00.001-05:00

Tonight I probably had the highest call average and the lowest number
of calls. 5 @ $55 only two were normal calls. In addition to
transportation I transported alcohol, bought and programmed someones
new cellphone and purchased poppers -er VHS head cleaner. I would
think that puts me in category of a personal assistant.

--
[Kevin]
sent from my Samsung u740

Fwd: Cranky

2007-12-02T14:50:00.001-05:00

In my three short years as a rolling Lucy Van Pelt: the doctor is in,
I do not think I have come across such dispair and unhappiness. It is
not unusual to find that people are sad or angry, but for some reason
it seems more intense this season. I had two people admit they've
thought about hurting themselves last night. It was not the angst
ridden desperation but more the almost ashamed afterward admission.
Somehow its more chilling to hear the latter than a threat. I do what
I do that I do. Five cents please.

sent from my Samsung u740

One set for another

2007-11-30T10:56:00.001-05:00

Drivers often cite one cab company to be better tha another. I found
just about every company has its share of problems and by leaving in a
huff you just end up burning your bridges.

--
[Kevin]

Its the christmas season

2007-11-30T08:20:00.000-05:00

People are chronically low on cash right up until after christmas. I wonder if thats due to all the cristmas cash and returns. In any case, I have a lot of "can I pay you when I get my paycheck" type of requests. But due to the large amount of repeat business I get, I find it pays to be nice. I have stopped serviucing some people that never seem to catch up, but usually they stop calling, or is it I stop answering. Ah Chicken and egg. I do handle emergencies like an ER would with me serving as Triage Medic and Ambulance driver, as the case requiures. I do not practice medicine, this is a Metaphor.

L

Perspective

2006-09-25T13:47:00.001-04:00

We had some major flash floods in town Friday night. It had been raining off and on most of the day, but appeared to have stopped by late evening. Midnight it started up with a vengeance.

Two girls took a cab and exited only to be washed away in the flood waters to their death. Just about every major road had currents crossing them. It was pretty scary. During all this, I got a call from a regular that was needing some food. We're not talking starvation, but just a big mac attack. My attitude was like that of disbelief. But it goes to show how different it was in the safety of their own home compared to the mean streets.

I made it to the food place and called back to get the order, only to find they had gone themselves. I was a bit unhappy to say the least. I think my response was "F*Y'all!" Ok, I know it was. I've not taken their calls since. Having my time wasted when I am busy is about the worst thing for my mood ever. Not canceling is a major no-no with me, if you expect me to be available to you. Each and every cancelation goes in a mental score book of mine. If I get too many "trivial" calls, all your calls become trivial. Its like crying wolf.

By making myself available to my best customers is my best business plan. My best customers understand this is a symbiotic relationship and we both benefit when we work together.

Louie's Loans and Grants Committee

2006-09-02T16:41:00.000-04:00

I don't know what it is about people on the edge, but they look to cab drivers as sources of cash. Maybe its because so many drivers are the favorite sons of people on the edge. The edgers that finally made it. But I get hit up for money all the time. One lady, she works at the Domestic House of Pancakes and lives in a motel with her non-working husband.

I can't call him unemployed because, to be considered unemployed you must be in the work force. To be in the work force, you must be looking for work. He does not leave the room. He is either depressed or agoraphoibic or both. But thats not the topic. A few weeks back she called me from the DHoP to come get her rent money. At first it was to be a round trip, but I offered to do it for her, and only charge her one way.

It started to be daily, and one day she did not have the money to pay me for the trip. Then a few days later she paid me for half the trip. Shortly after that she called and said she was told not to come in that day, and if she could borrow her rent money. I refused, and later on, she had talked her work into letting her come in. I discussed this with some other drivers, and one said he'd have probably lent her the money if she was his customer. I'd gotten in the habit before, and its a tough call. If it drags out too long, it sours things.

Shortly there after same thing, but this time she said she had to pay it before she left for work, but could pay me back at work, with DHoP advancing her the money. This went on a few days, and then DHoP refused to advance her the money. DHoP is not the best place to work. Crappy customer base, Crappy Management and a crappy staff. This lady even said she'd fire herself, if she was the manager.

So now this lady ows me $36. I started comping her rides to help her out until she got on her feet. I gave her some stern but caring talk about how this does not seem to be a short term shortfall, but a fundamental budget budget problem. They are paying over $1000 a month for a seedy room, when a tolerable apartment can be had for $450. I also touched on her husband. If it was in his head, he should seek counseling, if its drugs they should seek counseling. If its neither of that, she needs a better job.

Cracky Pete, on the other hand is part PT Barnum, part Tom Sawyer and the rest Fred Sanford. He's always got something he wants to give me. But really its to sell to me. We've gotten out of the habit of tying value to any of the objects. From my perspective when I have cash to spare, and I see him, I give him money. Essentially he is a hobo scrounger. He has found me some great stuff, but he does not have a good idea of what I value. He knows I like electronics, but he knows nothing of the diference between a monitor left out on the curb, and a speak and spell. He has gotten me some bamboo, some wicker chairs a digital camera, and handheld game system. I cannot count how much money I've handed over. I explain to him, the money is for him, not for the stuff. Sometimes I give him money and he has no stuff. Other times he gives me stuff and I don't give him money. I've explained to him, I will not short myself to give him money. And that he has to have more "customers" than me. If not he'd better get some more because I've got a few more recipients of my charity.

Wilma is a mentally ill wanderer. She used to come by leSplat, where I used to work and I'd giver her coffee or cokes, and a sandwich. Now I giver her cash and rides. If I see her at the omelette house, I'll pay for her breakfast. Apparently she has cancer real bad and is dying and does not understand it. Some local shopkeeper is her legal guardian and has an attitude toward her like a farmer has with cats. Let them wander around blissfully unaware. She feels institutionalizing her would be "wrong" and treating her would be pointless. I take her to the university hospital a lot in the winter, but thats mostly to keep warm. Her routine there is to tell them she's been beat up, and then the police take her to the squad room, and she chills until morning.

My latest is the lotto queen. I first encountered her in line at a speedymart as she was laboring over her choices. I say, if people would spend as much time with the jobs ads, as they do picking out scratch offs, there would be no unemployment in this country. She asked how much it would cost to take her to her motel. As it would happen, same motel as the waitress. I told her $5 and she agreed. Upon arrival she told me she could only pay in winning lottery tickets. She offered me $10 in winners. I agreed. a few rides later, she gave me $25 for $15 in case and a ride home. But last night she asked to borrow $9.50 so she could "Get in a card game". This tickled me so much I asked her if she wanted $20 instead. She grew real serious and asked how much interest I'd be charging her. I laughed and said it had been a busy night, and I'd lend it interest free. She must have lost because she did not call me back. But I do know she's room 119.

Freeman

2006-08-28T19:08:00.000-04:00

As I have never revealed my name in this blog, readers may wonder if I am a fugitive from Justice. Until 3:30 today I had a warrant out for my arrest. Last night I decided to be a man, and make an attempt to make good on it. I did not confess. I did not alert the media. I just skulked into the district court building. I bypassed the metal detector and went to the all night court counter. But I was informed I could not take care of it at 4am, but had to return between the hours of 8 and 4 and go to court services first.

Now a little on what brought me to this point. I was charged with multiple crimes, and pursuant to our US Constitution, I was, of course, innocent until proven guilty. I got my attorney on it, and he struck a plea deal for the least of the charges. He got the court date extended a very large time away. It was for August 2nd. I had many other traffic fines to pay, and breathed a sigh of relief on the extended deadline. But I forgot when it was. As August was drawing to a close, I realized I had most likely missed it, and knew I had a bench warrant out for my head on a stick.

But no more. I walked in again today, bypassed the metal detector, and went to court services. She took my ID and left to talk with some officers. I tensed up a bit, and told myself, it is always better to take your punches than to live always looking over your shoulder. She came back and said to me. "Failure to wear seat-belt"

I agreed and for an instant understood how Arlo Guthrie felt. She told me to go tot he payment window and pay my $163.50. I did, and was finally a free man! Originally I was cited for going 89 in a 55 mile an hour zone AND no seat belt. The former would have put my hack license in jeopardy, the latter does not. It was my happiest fine ever paid.

Oh and the reason I always bypass metal detectors is my pace maker. I include it for dramatic effect.

as I was winding down from a wild ride

2006-07-23T19:30:00.000-04:00

Last night it was back to back calls once again. I had to pass on a few because I was too far away, but overall they meshed pretty well. I had some "late" breakfast plans around 5 so I headed home to chill for a bit, when I got one last call. It was a round trip from a hotel to a White Castle.

Apparently the man had seen Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and had never been to one. He tried to get the limo driver to go through the drive through, but he refused. A baseball player had offered to take him in his car, but the player had had a drink, and the guy thought the better of it. So he asked the concierge at the hotel when he got back. Reportedly, she started laughing at the request, and called him a cab. Ultimately I was the cab.

The guy was so excited. He ordered a "Crave Caee" (a 30-pack) 2 bacon cheeseburgers, 2 orders each of fries and mozzerella sticks. The crave case comes in a handy stuitcase style box with a handle. He spent $25, which is not hard to do at Arby's but quite a challenge at Whitie's.

I fancy myself as a White Castle authority, which is why I think the call was given to me. I explained all sorts of White Castle lore. I explained why there are holes in the meat. I even told them about the fiscal responsibility of the corporation. They do not finance their buildings, nor franchise. The guy wants to have a White Castle down where he lives, due to a large number of traveling Ohioans.

When he got back to the hotel his fare had hit $16.40. He slipped me a pair of Jacksons and he was off, happy as a little boy in play-land. So his final toll for the food was about $65. But when you think of the mastercard commercial.....

Burgers $25
Cab Fare $17
Tip #23
Busting your White Castle cherry..... priceless.

Wild Weekend

2006-07-16T16:10:00.000-04:00

Generally I just work 11-3 monday through saturday and thats very scetchy until thursday. But this week, I've been slamming. I took both Monday and Wednesday almost completely off, and I'm glad I did, because I made up for it last night and friday.

My cabbie wife (Jerry) and I have this tradition of seeing who can be first to "call it" as in a good night. He and I work very different angles on the cab business so it is not unusual for our experiences to diverge on any given night. My customer base is party animals. His is hotel guests. We overlap in our college clients and we both take hosre industry overflow from the industry leader, Davey.

On any given night, I prefer my calls to flow into one another. This means I go from point A to point B and get a call from B' very close to B. B' to C then I get a call from C' and so on. This happened friday night by 8:30 so I called it. It also happend saturday evening by 6:30 and I called it again. Jerry, not actually my wife, he's totally straight, I also refer to him as my hetersexual life partner, ala Silent Bob and Jay. But we actually resemble one another and both Silent Bob at that. The irony of this will not be lost on anyone that knows "jerry's" real name.

The serendipity of rides came to a beautiful apex friday night. It was abotu over, I was very tired. I got a call from a strip club I "work" and headed over there. I work it because it is very convenient to my house, and on slow nights I can hang at my house, watch TV or stuff, and get there within 5 minutes. But this time I was 20 minutes away. I told her I'd head that way, and if they were still there I'd take them otherwise I'd just go home. When I showed up another 2 cabs were already there. I called the front desk and confirmed the people should have already been outside. Guessing they were in one of the 2 cabs, I kept driving and went to the nearby super america store. As I was loading up on snacks, they called back and said they had a party of 5 for me. Since I drive a mini van, I can handle parties larger than the normal max 4. I got there, and there were many people needing cabs.

The club had just exited the building, and the people that did not plan ahead were in up-the-creek-land. As I was approached I explained I was reserved for a large party. They were kind of unhappy, as you can imagine. I also know that starting about 30 minutes prior, the waitresses start asking their drunker patrons if they need a cab. "no no, we're alright" is often the answer.

So my party loads, and its "lottery call". So described because it is well above the normal fare. Standard out of that place is about 9-12 bucks. This was a 3 party three stop. In one general direction but a few detours on the way. At the first stop the gentleman asked about what I thought the rest of the ride would be, and I told him about $25 or so. He gave me $40. I continued make the rest of the stops. During this Jerry called me and said he was driving a customers car home for her, and he would need a ride back to his cab downtown. This is a little known service we do for special customers. Essentially for the price of a round trip and a good tip, we'll get your car home.

The clincher of this whole deal is he was going to point D and my final destination on my lottery call was D'. And we were en route simultaneously. When I cleared, I called and told him I was running low on gas, and if he was waiting for me, I could get him right away, but I needed gas. He was still enroute, giving me time to stop at the gas station that was between D and D'.

That is what we call cabby Kharma. Earlier that night I had been doing the A-B, B'-C, C'-E thing to great success. I was hungry so I detoured to the border for a spicy chicken cruntch wrap supreme and a big tea. On my way back I heard a call on the raidio. It was on the other side of downtown, so I agreed to take it. When I was on the street, the call canceled. Its a well known experience of mine that in the rain, people call multiple cabs, and (hopefully) cancel the others after the first one gets there. Knowing my personal customer base was out in full force, I clicked my radio off. I did not need the distraction.

Other drivers that live and die by the dispatch must watch me in action in wonder. I worked 7 hours friday night taking only one call off the radio and picking up one at the cab stand. I had a brief break to get food and gas, but not very long.

But it doesn't always work out like this. Toward the end of last night, I was dropping someone off near down town, and I get a call from Jerry. One of his favorites needed a ride and the Doomsday Cafe, and could I go get her. I agreed, called her and was there in 5 minutes. I show up and its a party of 4 one of which was splain on the ground puking. This is right as the bars close. When a lot of drivers, including me, make 75% of our income for the night. I could not afford to have someone puke in my cab. We charge $100 clean up fee, but its not enough to handle the bother for me. I had some of my own calling me at the same time. I have some regulars I call "the Power Lesbians". Sex in the city had some new yokers in this role, and they were all glamorous and that. Thats what these girls are. I had trouble explaing to the drunk kids how I did not have time to deal with Pukey McBarfbag. I called Jerry and ordered him to come clean up his won mess. During this melee, the PL called and I barked into the phone, I had to call them back. Before it was over they called again, and I screamed "Kerry What?!?" I vagueley heard some yelling back, I cleared up my drunk people, and told the PL I was on my way to them.

When I got them in the cab, I told Kerry I may have yelled, and she said forget about it, she needed to blow off some steam, and it was fine. I continued to explain what was going on, and she was truly uninterested nor upset by it. I got them home, turned around and finished my night with my bar employees, like I do most every night.

I later found out Jerry had no idea the guy was puking, just that it was "urgent" and "he's really drunk".

flight time

2006-07-10T20:40:00.000-04:00

I had my first runaway fare today. Most other drivers have had them. What made mine different is I had the time and inclination to pursue the police option. The party had me pick them up at a Lexington Hotel and take them to get their car at AAMCo. It was closed so they said they needed to go to Georgetown. They did not seem to care about the shorter milage route, and acted as though the expense did not matter.

Thinking back, of course it did not matter. They did not plan on paying for it. These people did not realize I am a proud owner of the Hardy Boys Detective Handbook, and read it religiously. I remembered their room at the hotel. But back to the trip.

On the way they started bad mouthing the police. I muttered in tacit commiseration so they definately felt I disliked the police as well. All I really said was I did not like the current ad campaign by the highway patrol: "Bluelights over the Bluegrass". So they have me pull up to a house, but out of view of the back yard. They said something about hoping his mother's house was unlocked in the back, and quickly dissapeared around the house. I noticed someone peaking out through the blinds, and shortly thereafter a dominos pizza car came up. A teen ager answered the door. I then went up and knocked as well. I explained to the kid that I had dropped some people off and they were going to go in the back, he said they lived behind him.

I then simply went around the block parked in front of the house. Shortly thereafter a grey-haired woman came to the door and I walked up. I explained I dropped a man and a girl off behind her house. Se said they came for some keys and they left. I then explained I was calling the police. This is where they should have made good on the $60 some dollars they owed me by now. The police came on short order. Three, as a matter of fact. Small time crime in a small town. They were familiar with the perpetrator quite well, so I think he is a habitual trouble-maker.

I made a point of telling the responding officer the passenger's disdain for the police. Counting on a little Mucho Bravado, I got the response I expected. "We'll see what we can do to catch them..." I then told him, that their reaction toward law enforcement had a lot to do with me filing the report.

The officers went up to the house and talked with the mother, but she would not let them in. They believe he's still in there. Chances are if he has any warrants out for his arrest, this may be all they need to apprehend him. On my way back from Georgetown the police called me again, and asked me where I picked them up. I gave them the motel and the room number. Thinking things through, chances are they skipped on their motel room too, and now, even if they registered under a fake name, the police know his true identity.

I may get some more satisfaction out of this, but I did it mostly out of the principle. My chance of recovering any money is minimal. But I know that theft such as this goes tot he county attorney's office it can mess you up.

My Favorite Career

2006-07-08T16:40:00.000-04:00

People that meet me in my current career as part time cab driver are often a bit confused. I can imagine some of their thoughts. "I wonder what he did that he has to drive a cab now?" or "gee he seems so smart..." or "Funny my husband never asks for a second cup of coffee when I make it".

What these people do not know, is that I have pursued every single one of my dreams. well except maybe one, more on that later. I also realized they were just that. The reality could never live up to the dream. When I was in college, I wanted to work in "finance" something involving money. Not the movie theater business I worked at during colllege and shortly thereafter, but loans and stuff. I soon had a job as Loan Representative at a place called The Higher Education Assistance Foundation. It was such a snooty sounding company, I frequently got "wow" as a response when I told people where I worked. I was so proud. I took the bus to work, had a transfer and as I waited with my fellow riders for the second bus, I knew I had the best job among them. I could not understand why they all were not striving to be "Loan Reps". But it wasn't long before it became tedious. Sure I could do it, but ugh, it was dull dull dull.

I ultimately pursued my next dream of being a college professor. I can teach well, I relate well to students and all that. I came to Kentucky to get a PhD in Economics. I quickly realized I did not have the patience for the research part of the job. I also found that the research was the main motivation behind professors careers. I applied for a Master of Science degree and quit the PhD Program. I decided University staff may be a good home for me. I worked for another snooty sounding organization "UK Equine Research Foundation". I was mostly support staff, and it too got tedious. Next I had the chance to move to a department that lost its only staff member. She died suddenly without ever training anyone in. I was brought in as a sort of forensic jobber to try and backwards engineer the job from what she produced. But I got bogged down in tedium. Really really bogged down.

This period brought me to a restaurant. I needed to buy a new car and my system of just in time budgeting (think paycheck to paycheck) would not allow me to fit in a car payment. So I took a PT job at night to save money for a new car. Ihad not waited tables since I was a teen ager. But something happened, I realized I liked it. I made good money at it, and I enjoyed it. But I did not feel I was fulfilling my potential.

I had quit my day job by that time and was working FT as a waiter, when a friend of mine offered me what my new dream job was. It was an internet job. I was offered a crazy high salary, and ambiguous duties, at best. I had free reign to do almost anything I wanted. I did everything asked of me, and then some. But the company was restructuring so a lot of my ideas, or the ones that cost money, were scuttled. I was so bored. But I did not feel I could afford to leave a job that paid so well, so I treaded water. Eventually the company went under, and I went back to waiting tables. Thats when I realized the service industry was where I was most happy.

In college, I loved my movie theatre job, but it was not "professional" enough for the likes of me. So I thought. I am not sure when it clicked with me that I liked helping others, but I think I come across it honestly. My grandparents were in the hospitality industry through my dad's and my childhood. I literaly grew up as a young concierge.

After I had a life changing surgery, I found I did not have the energy to work. At least not a set schedule. I was sleeping a lot of the time due to my heart medications. I knew some cab drivers and asked them if they thought I could do it. I knew I could, but was not sure I'd be good, or that I'd enjoy it.

What an understatement. I think from the third day, I knew I loved it. It is absolutely perfect for me. I have attention deficit disorder (ADD) so repeition gets tedious to me. I am easily distracted. To compensate for this I have developed a short cut mentality. I had become used to the cash-a-day lifestyle as a waiter so the other big obsticle for a lot of people was also not a challenge for me. The short cuts help me be more efficient getting form A-B.

Driving a cab is a lot of small tasks. Bring Bob from Kroger to home. End. Take Margie to the liquor store and back. End. No matter how bad any one of them may be, there is a very quick end in sight. No dread of an eight hour day. Ironically I hate to drive. When I had to go to the mall for something, you would have thought I had to drive to Florida. But driving a cab is not the same as driving. I believe the difference is this. Driving myself to the mall was a waste of time necessary to complete a task - buy Blue Malva at the Aveda Shop. But driving someone to the Mall for them to go to Macy's, WAS the task. AND I could pop inside for my Blue Malva having got paid for the trip as a bonus. All of a sudden I could run my errands and pick up fares on the way.

Not many people can say they made $30 on their way to Target to go shopping. Also, stress is a big concern foir me. It is thought, besides family history, the way I dealt with stress was one of my chief risk factors for my heart attacks. In a set job, even waiting tables, you have to work under stressfull conditions. Driving a cab I am my own boss, and can quit for the day whenever I want. If I hve a particularly stressfull fare, I will often go home pet my dogs lay down or even quit for the night. I have quite a few remedies.

I like to say I can work whenevr I want. But the truth is, while I can work whenever I want, I can only make money when the customers want a ride. To this end, I have adjusted myself to a routine. I have some of the best customers in the business. "Signal Tens" are when someone requests a particular driver. Its a radio code from the old days. But now with mobile phones S-10s come to me by way of phone. It is not unusual for me to be dozing at home in front of the TV when someone will call and I am off. I feel like Batman. My Bat-phone rings, and I get my Bat-cowboy hat, and jump into my Bat-cab and am off - de de de de de de de..... You can guess what my other dream job was. Crime fighter.

My customers are so great and so loyal, I refer to them as Signal Twenties. They are twice as good. I realized how loyal they where this past weekend, when I had to reuse my old Virgin Mobile phone. When I started driving 18 mos ago, I started with a prepaid phone. I knew it would be important, but did not want to commit to the job or a phone contract at first. As I looked through the saved numbers I garnered during my first two weeks of driving, I noticed just about all of them are still riding with me.

I have never been happier doing anything in my life. I think I was happy with my first Loan Rep job, but it did grow tedious as I sat and entered stuff in computers all day and heard the same excuses for late payments over and over.

Sometimes I wonder if the following in your fathers footsteps ever skips a generation. The jobs I have enjoyed have often been held by my ancestors. My maternal grandfather was a streetcar conductor, and my paternal grandfather was a long haul trucker (also owning a resort). I did not mention my love of cooking, but I do love it. One of my great Grandfathers was a cook at a logging camp. My dad was a CPA and airline executive. Not exactly hands on service. But he also told me he was never happy in those careers, that he was just doing it to earn a living to support us. I do know he hates the hospitality industry though. I guess airlines is service and transportation though. So I guess it may still count.

All in all, I treat every day as a gift. I wake up and look forward to getting in my cab and working. I bought my own cab after eight mos of driving. I only do it 25 hours a week or so. But I do not think I'd want to do anything else.

Fourth of July

2006-06-29T05:40:00.000-04:00

The owner of the cab company asked me if I wanted to drive in the parade this year. It was my idea that we had an entry since we're the new guys. I am asking exotic dancers to ride with me and hand out stuff. I also asked a cute boy to be a gogo boy. I figure to cover all my bases.

Naughty poll results

2006-06-27T23:57:00.000-04:00

1. How old are you?	Over 30
2. What is your sexual orientation?	Bi-Curious
3. Have you ever given someone oral sex?	Sure I have
4. Have you ever received oral sex?	Yes, of course
5. How many sexual partners have you had?	More than 15
6. What is your pubic hair style?	Trimmed neatly
7. What kind of underwear do you wear?	Boxer Briefs
8. Have you ever taken, or been in, naked photos?	Yes, been in them
9. Have you ever been to a nude beach, or nudist area?	Yes, a nude beach
10. Do you watch porn?	Yes, of course. Who hasn't?
11. Have you ever watched others, or been watched having sex?	No, neither
12. How large are you...ya know, in the pants?	About 7 inches
13. Have you ever expirimented with another man?	Yes I have
14. What is your favorite sexual position?	Spooning, side by side
15. Are you circumcised?	No I am not
16. What gets you off fastest?	Hand job
17. How often do you masturbate?	Once a day
18. Have you ever had multiple partners at once?	No, never
19. Have you ever paid for sex?	Nope, never
20. When did you lose your virginity?	Over 18 years old
NaughtyPoll.com - take your own poll!
50 FREE Mp3's! No Catch!

2006-06-18T06:12:00.000-04:00

Tonight was another first. I had a bachelorette party ask if they could get a ride home. I agreed, and as I was waiting for them to all load up, they said "she" was trying to get another - what sounded like "button for a buck". They asked me, and I said I did not know what they were even saying.

The entire way home they were chattering about the night. and how so and so did not pay a buck. I did not notice the girl in the front seat had gummi worms sewn to her shirt. When we get to the house, I ask them what the buck thing was all about.. They explain for a buck I get to bite a worm off her shirt, and the money goes to the bride to be. The fare was only $3.80 so I asked , "if I eat 4 that pays for your ride right"? they enthusiastically agreed, and I went to town eating my four gummis off the girls shirt. They seemed very pleased with me. I got a three dollar tip too - cash money.

Picky Picky Picky

2006-06-15T21:23:00.000-04:00

I am not your average cab driver. Another successfull driver sums it up this way. He'll take anyone anywhere, he calls himself the Wal*mart of cab drivers. I tend to choose my loyalties in a symbiotic process. Much more like a boutique. He calls me the Tiffany's of cab drivers. My customer base is smaller, my gross income is also smaller, but my hours worked are much smaller and my average price of ride is much higher. It is not only about money, but as our relationship grows, so does the amount of effort I put in maintaining the relationship. I have 3 or 4 customers whose business alone pay all my fixed expenses. The rest of the business is the "profit".

People ask me when I work, my answer is "after dark" but the reality is, I work when my customers need me. For some people I am available amost 24 hours a day -- like a concierge. Some of my regulars confuse this with friendship. I am not saying I am not friendly with my customers or that I do not consider them friends. But I will say I try to keep the distinction. Some people are indeed both, and I have come up and reinforced the following distinction. If you call me for a ride, you are a customer. If I offer you a ride, you are my friend. If you call me for a ride, and tell me you need help or cannot pay, being a friend, I won't charge you. If this becomes a habit, it is like any other friend that always seems to take more than he gives.

Tonight, I let some guys go. I do not delte them from my phone, but I demote their ringtone. Different classes of customers have different priority ringtones. Some I jump at, some I barely hear unless I am absolutely focused on working. These guys got demoted down to the lowest ring-tone I have. So quiet I barely hear it if there are people in the cab. Their offense? False urgency. "... and we're in a hurry, don't get a ticket or anything, but we'll pay you extra if you get here fast". I am there well within my 10 minute estimate to be told "Can you park it, I need to get 'rick', he's inside". I park at the curb, stewing. Twinety minutes after the call, 10 after my arrival I see them exit the bar, and one gesturing back to me. They take a seat. I pull out, slow down next to them, one again gestures, and I wave and drive off.

A side benefit of my way of working is, I can spend a lot of time at my house. It is centrally located and 5-10 minutes from the bulk of my customer base. So when someone calls, I adjust my estimate depending on what I am doing. "How soon can....?" usually riles me up anyway. But one someone that prides himself on punctuality uses it, I'll jump out of respect. That's why it was so frustrating tonight. Had the urgency not been expressed, I would have been much more easy going about it. I would have parked gon in, and coaxed them out. But with the "in a hurry" I have no patience for delay.

Am I too big for my britches? Perhaps. But I do this to keep busy and keep me out in the world. I've learned to let a lot of things go, but not my respect.

Crazy Week

2006-04-03T16:38:00.000-04:00

It was pretty busy this weekend. I was exhausted by the time Sunday night rolled around, and I missed out on working late last night. Thats OK, I needed the rest and slept a full 12 hours. Normally I get about 10 hours a day. This is due to all the heart medications I have to take for my CHF.

I had my usually class of imbibers. A few of note. Some college girls were going home and were ranking all their boyfriends. A very drunk Gay guy started rubbing my shoulder then proceeded to tell me I was a "very Pretty man". I had a few hotel regulars which is always nice. a lot of business in a short of time, then you don't see them again until they come back. Lexington has a lot of repeat regulars. This is mostly due to the large amount of annual events we have that draw people from around the state, or even ther world.

Last monday I tried my hand at the early day driver bit. It was decent money, but I sure do hate driving in traffic.

Nippular Areas

2006-03-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

A lot of my business is at strip clubs. Every so often, customers offer to flash me their chest for a break on the fare. My answer has always been, thanks but it doesn't pay the bill. But then I got to thinking. I see a lot of them in the normal course of my work. Just popping into the clubs to get a patron, I am often inundated with topless dancers. But I had no idea how many.

I am currently conducting a study. I am counting the breasts I see. One by one, each day. I am not trying to maximize my numbers, so I am not actively looking, and I am not averting my eyes. I want an accurate count of each and every mammary that enters my field of vision.

Here is my counting scheme.

Full frontal, counts as two.

Side View, counts as one, unless it is instantly part of a turn or spin. If the dancer is actively dancing toward the side of the stage it still counts as one only, even if I ultimately see both later within a short period of time.

If I tell a dancer or employee of the club I am counting, their breasts are disqualified from my count.

"Penalty points" for when a dancer is briefly covering herself up as she walks by topless. These t-shirt covered ones, count zero, but I considered deducting 2 points from the total, but changed my mind.

Each dancer can only be counted once per day.

Only live girls count. No pictures.

Results so far
Day one 9
Day two 0
Day three 18
day four 0
I'll be counting for at leats a week, maybe two.

Lost an Found

2005-12-17T05:40:00.000-05:00

People leave a lot in my cabs. Cell phones and keys are the most common. Last night an original painting was left. I later found out it was a $2000 portrait of Irish Revolutionary, Michael Collins. I knew where the guy lived, but it was real far away. I had driven out there twice, once with him, when he forgot the painting, and again with his car. I did not fin the painting until I was leaving my cab to go inside my house. The guy was not a goo tipper, but he was fairly prominent. Most importantly I knew where he drank. So I decided I would drop it by there so I would not have to drive out to the next county with it.
I was on my way to pick up the bar's owner, who is a regular and he recognized the painting right away. He said the man had been wondering about it earlier. I offered to bring it in then and there, but the customer asked me to wait until I returned. The passenger that left it did not remember getting home the night before. I had insisted he take my number as he has entrusted me with his keys to shuttle his car home later that night. But the scribbled name an number probably meant nothing to him. I brought it in, and I think the whole bar cheered. It was a good thing. But I will say this, had he been a better tipper, I'd have brought it to his home without hesitation.

notorious

2005-12-05T20:12:00.000-05:00

ALA Librarian Sues Robbers for Assault: "Librarian Sues Robbers for Assault
A librarian at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky, who was shot with a stun gun, tied up, and blindfolded during a robbery of rare books and artworks has sued the four men who admitted to the theft.
Special Collections Librarian Betty Jean Gooch filed the lawsuit November 1 in Fayette County Circuit Court, claiming the men assaulted, battered, and falsely imprisoned her. She is seeking damages for physical, mental, and emotional suffering, as well as medical expenses and lost wages, the Lexington Herald-Leader reported November 2.

This has been a traumatic ordeal for her, said Lee Roland, Gooch's attorney.
The four former college students pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court April 21 to the December 2004 robbery. Sentencing is scheduled for December 6. Because they assaulted Gooch during the theft, they face a maximum of 75 years in prison and over $1 million in fines.
The stolen works, which included an 1859 first edition of Darwin's The Origin of Species and 20 pencil sketches by John James Audubon, were returned to the library after the men were arrested in February.
Posted November 4, 2005; modified November 18, 2005."

Diversity

2005-10-27T17:34:00.000-04:00

I get a lot of opinions in my cab. From the overtly racist or sexist to the friendly or complimentary. I was driving my bank teller home from her wedding anniversry. They ate at the grand dame of downtown restaurants. There is one waiter that has been there for at least 15 years. Yes, he's gay.

She cheerfully described each course of the dinner with glowing compliments. I asked if they had the infamous [previously mentioned waiter]. She answered quickly with "no, we had a mousy young woman. We had hoped for a flaming gay waiter, because, We Love the Gays!".

How nice. I followed up with saying it was too bad it was so early because all the best female impersonation shows would not be starting for another hour. The husband chuckled uncomfortably and said, they'll have to make that another time.

Patron Saints

2005-10-07T16:39:00.000-04:00

I saw five college guys walking back from what I assumed to be the Deja Vu strip club. It was 4:30 in the morning, and that club had been closed for 90 minutes or more.

I was right. They climbed in and complained about the competition, 231-TAXI and how they had been wating 5 hours for a taxi. Anyway, we were now on our way to campus, south on North Broadway. It was drizzling, and the roads were devoid of traffic. As I do sometime, I contemplated the best route in which to get off Broadway and over to Limestone St. There were plenty of inconsequential choices to be made. The most obvious was not allowed. That being left on West Vine.

With all that contemplation going on, and answering the unending banter of the boys, I did not see a light turn red in time to stop on the slick pavement.

As I slam on my breaks and realize I was going to skid through the intersection, I see a Garbage truck accelerating toward the intersection from the right on the cross street. It had the green light afterall. The garbage truck traffic had been my whole reason for pondering the best route, as the narrow downtown streets can become quite clogged with the trucks in the wee hours of the morning.

So here I am, full to capacity with 4 college boys, skidding toward the middle of an intersection with a 2 ton garbage truck approaching from the right. Not able to stop, I also realized my tires would spin if I gunned it. when the truck was within feet of us, it veered to the left north on broadway, I veered my car left onto the cross street in a wide counterclockwise arc. I straightened our direction and continued in that direction, and saw through my rearview window the truck had done the same.

My passengers were understandable shaken and wanted to get home, so I kept going. I wondered at the time if I had left the scene of an accident. I hope not, because that is bad.

Through the truck drivers and my respnse, we were able to avoid a very nasty and possibly fatal collision. There were five in my car, and I think there are at least 3 or 4 in a garbage truck.

The entire scene played out like a Burt Reynold movie. Although if so, the garbage truck would have been a dump truck of manure I think.

In any case when I dropped the boys off, I did not charge them for the ride. I realize that was small compensation for almost disaster. But in a big way, I think the greater act was avoiding it, when it was inevitable. All the boys, and myself included were certain it was going to happen.

How many times can a person see his life flash before his eyes? My St. Christopher Medallion is doing its job well. I have had my permit clamped to my visor with a StC visor clip since I switched cab companies.

marble mouth

2005-10-07T15:51:00.000-04:00

marble mouth

After a long night of driving, I was on my way home. I pulled into a huddle house to get a late night dinner, and an old man waved at me, mumbled and set himself down in my cab.

In an odd mixture of;
the "ep ep ep" guy from David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigalo" video,
"Mushmouth" from Fat Albert
and Nurse Diesel from High Anxiety,
he stated:
"Blah MMPH grr blea" I calmly stated I could not understand him, and in the interest of typological brevity, I am going to start a shorthand for his auditory goblittygook. [blah10] is 10 syllables of gibberish.

Me: I am sorry where do you need to go?
him: [blah25]
me: I'm sorry?
him:[blah10] new [blah7] new town [blah10] new town pike
me: new town pike?
him:[blah2]

I started toward new town pike, a road of approximately 5 urban miles and untold distance after. I shudder to think where this will go.

Me: Just tell me where to stop
him:[Blah10] new town pike [blah5]!
me: yes, I know were to go first, but not how far...
him: [blah25] talk [blah5] cab [blah157]
me (silently to myself...) [blah15]...sigh

fortunately it was only a [blah3] blocks.

craziness

2005-08-26T12:05:00.000-04:00

The students are back. with a vengence.

One night 12 frat and sorority types climbed in my van. We dropped the girls`off and som basketball players were in the car in front of us. Eventually they were blocking the one lane roadway. On of my boys recognized the player as from last year and cryed out "you suck". Apparently the guy finished and did not go pro and is fairly angry about it, because him and his friend went ballistic. It was a no fist fight and shouting match worthy of a late night street version of the Jerry Springer Show. But I was more like Dr. Phil. I was telling the boys to get back in my car, and the ball players to get in their car and leave, as I had called the campus police about the disturbance. Eventually, like when the light turns green in a chinese fire drill, everyonne got back in their cars, and we drove off, and I dropped my off at their frat house.

[this is a BASH related ride tale] Bash is the nick name for one of the frat guys I drive around. It was his roommate and bros, that were involved in the fight.

New Look

2005-08-12T15:26:00.000-04:00

I picked up a cheap barn hat not too long ago, and it redifined my look. Its a wire rimed straw cowboy hat. I curled up the sides, and have subsequently grown a beard. For some reason it is filling a lot of peoples fantasies.

A few weeks ago, I was at a little sidewalk cafe hotspot, and some charles atlas guy was staring me down. He was sitting with two other guys I recognized, but was certain he was looking at Kim, the brunette next to me.

Everytime I glanced his way his eyes were boring right through me. As he left, he asked me if that was my cab behind me. When I agreed, he asked me if I had a card. "In case I ever need a ride", he said. That was unusual. It is not unusual for someone to ask for a ride in that way, but cards are usually asked for by people that either already know me, or have already ridden in my cab.

I suspected this guy was really just asking me for my number, and I stated as such to the table after I returned. And I was right. Not more than thirty minutes later did he call me and asked if I wanted to fool around.

I cannot commit to words how hot this guy is, and he was pursuing me. Needless to say, we made plans.

Bless me Blog, for I have sinned

2005-07-11T15:24:00.000-04:00

Bless me Blog, for I have sinned.
Its been four weeks since my last confession.

I still love it. I said when I started I would probably buy a cab if I still liked it by this summer. We are screeching toward the first day of summer, and I think I have decided to take the plunge.

I'm buying a Medallion. OK, hey do not have Medallions in this town, but it is a pretty famous system of cab ownership. I ran my numbers and including taxes, insurance, permits and fees, I will save about $1000 a month in expenses. I can spend that $1000 a month on maintenance or car financing, and still largely come out ahead.

I will truly be my own boss. I may switch alegience to another company. There is an Owner-operator company that has fees that are half the rate of the company I am currently with. What will affect my decion is how much does the radio dispatch affect my bottom line. If it is the difference between this company and company b, then I am indifferent. If it is more than I should stay, less I shoudl leave. The other company does not have much number recognition in the cab calling public. But well over three quarters of my income comes from "signal tens" and cruising. Signal 10s are calls that come to me directly via my cell phone. I did talk to a driver for the other company, and found the radio is not a complete empty nest.

What car? I am trying to decide if I want a plain car or one that will stand out. I will be hard on it, it will be a working vehicle. I like having a van, but it would be nice to have a good cruiser too. I've noticed in the owner operator company, drivers are more apt to get somethign they want. One guy even drives an SUV. I have even toyed with the idea of a genuine London Cab.

Crash

2005-06-04T17:41:00.000-04:00

I had my first accident today. It was, thankfully a non-injury accident. I expect the insurance cos. will find us equally at fault, despite my having the right of way. He was turning left from the oncoming lane. I was passing on the right, another car also turning left. Newither of us saw the other until it was too late. Because I was continuing through the intersection straight away, I had the right of way, it is legal to pass on the right to go around a car turning left. The other driver assumed the lane to the right of the car he was facing would only be making right turns. The driving behavior I exhibited was very common at that intersection. All the witnesses scattered. Especially the person in front of me making the left turn. The police/tow insurance process took about an hour, but I must say the cab company had a replacement vehicle for me by the time my car was towed to the yard.

It is, however chitty chitty bang bang. The horn goes off when you start it, that is, unless you have the headlights on. The gear arrows do not correspond with the lables. But at least they are in the same order. The crank monitor needs replacement, and they'll get that on monday.

type a type b

2005-06-03T17:48:00.000-04:00

I have this running list of "two types of people" with a regular passenger. For example, people that let their dogs sleep in their bed with them, and those that are horrifed at the mere suggestion. "I think they let the dog sleep on the bed with them" they'll say in hushed tones.

As passengers, I realized last night there are two types of direction givers. The micro-managers, and the bottom liners. The Micro managers will give directions to such a small degree, I often have to interupt and just ask the end address. "Well, you go down main street, take a left on North Mount Tabor, and take a left in the K-mart parking lot" "So you want to go to K-Mart" "Yes, the garden center it is on the left side of the building, it has its own entrance". The other has such an inflated sense of self, as well as innate trust in cabbies internal GPS system, they will just announce their desitination, no matter how obscure. "I want to go to Subdivision, generica" "you now, by McDonald's" "on New Circle Road" That particular road is a 20 mile circle around the urban part of the county, with no less than 5 McDonalds within sight of it.

Somne times people seem incapable of telling me their address. They start to give directions. "Take a left". or "Just go forward, I'll tell you where to go". I hate that. My second night I had a guy say he needed to "just go down south broadway". At the edge of town South Broadway changes name and becomes a destination name road. His true destination was not on the broadway part of the road at all, but outside the county line. That started my destinartion demand at the beginning of each call.

Some people treat cabs like their own personal calf path, or wandering jew. They'll say "I just need to go to Wallgreen's. There, they announce they want me to wait for them while the shop, then bring up where they want to get food, then a return trip home. Sometimes I stack calls up. This means, if someone calls me when I am on the way to Wallgreen's, I will assume it is a one way to Wallgreen's and estimate my new pick up time for the second call.

People in the town rarely know how to hail a cab. Some just say "hey" or "wait!". I am kind of a stinker abotu it. I do not need the money as bad as some drivers, so I only respond to visible waves, or "Taxi!", a whistle, or human speed bumps.

The Cadre

2005-05-11T12:37:00.000-04:00

Mother Jones did it, Cesar Chaves did it, and now I am doing it. Not a union per se and not a cartel either, I have joined a cadre. They do not term it such, but that is exactly what it is. Its a group of good cabbies that jointly market themselves as individuals to take care of the needs of customers. The eventual goal of some of them is to start their own cab company. At this point, I am using it like a referral service and a relief valve for my own overflow. They recruited me. Word within the group was that I had a lot of private business and that I am reliable, fair and trustworthy. So far so good, in that I made some decent money off the group last weekend and early this week.

Today I had breakfast with one of the thinkers in the group, and we discussed how many "Signal Tens" (10s) we had yesterday. First -- 10s are personal request calls. They are most often direct to your cell phone. I think in the olden days of dispatch only, callers were allowed to request certain drivers and the standard number codes were assigned to it, and 10 became that number. It is not unusual to hear the phrase "A ten of mine was out at Keeneland and I had to shoot him to (driver 66) and he totally ripped the guy off" Translation: "One of my regulars called me and I had to ask driver 66 to get him and he took them the long way home and ran up their fare". Anyway, yesterday was pretty slow. (driver)11 told me he had one 10 , and that 44 did too. I counted inm my head and counted 5 or more. This impressed him.

I even knocked off early and got ready for bed at 11 o'clock to watch Futurama. I got three calls after that, totalling $60. My daily lease payment is $65 plus $15 for insurance. I made that mucvh after I "quit" working for the day. of course I did not actually quit as I got out of bed to service the 10s that called me, but I was not out actively seeking work. My house is in such a central location I can, almost, sit on my porch and make a living just responding to direct ohone calls. Other drivers and the company are astounded by this. Granted the econonomics of my situation are unique in that I cannot work as much as the other guys, and my financial needs are much lower than the other guys because I am disabled and draw a check and have income limits. But fortunately for me I gain customers with ease, and had a ready made clientele with my associations with another super-cabby, my mentor, as well as a few cab hungry bars (LeSplat being one).

The sheer number of calls I get from my former customers at LeSplat almost insure my breaking even in the long run. I am also chipping away at my mentors base. Not actively, but when I am on time, and I am easier to get ahold of, and I match his discounts and I do not double up fares, people remember me. A few of them call me fist now, and several more call me first when he is gone regardless of who's number is on his recording. When I first started I was usually first on his recording with the statement, "I Highly recomend...". Now I am often fourth with no such lead in. But the ones I got before remember me and call me first. Some seem not to catre who gets him, they just remember my mentors phone number. It is painlessly easy to remember. Even the most drunk of riders can spit out a request for someone to call that number.

Some of the guys that call me have my number scribbled down on his card, and recognize it but do not remember much else. In any case, things are going good. I am making exactly the money I need, getting the rest I need, and most of all keeping active.

an introduction

2005-05-01T11:59:00.000-04:00

my name is not louie. the name louie coems from the leslie chatres

SAINT novels and stories. louie was a brookly cab driver. when i started, the cap i wore was a classic jeep drivers cap, much like a hack would have worn after the big one, dubya dubya 2.

anyway, I became disabled due to heart trouble over a year ago, and for several months searched for work that woudl fit in the limits I haqve from social swecurity and still make my budget shortfall form my disability check. this work was near perfect. it was largely stress free, schedule free, cash based and fit my short attention span perfectly.

i have done a lot, god knows i tried. I have worked in he service industry, academia, training, e-commerce, non-profits to named a few. i have found myself to be happiest in the service industry.

i am only in my early forties (41 to be exact) and look even younger. my disability status is not apparent at first glance, unless they see my scar peeking out from behind my shirt. even then, it looks like a childhood scar, it has healed so well. i thought an introduction is in order, and am going to backdate this. this was written may 11, 2005

Serving the community.

2005-04-27T02:24:00.000-04:00

I have seen diatribes against cab drivers. They describe us as peter pans, never wanting to grow up or have a real job. That we want to extract every dollar out of our passengers, through any devious means possible.

I think that there are those types of men in almost any profession. I chose as my mentor someone that took a different path. He went the extra mile and became charitable to some degree. When he is on vacation, he has had me take care of some of his "special needs" passengers. That's what he calls them anyway.

One such woman is an 87 year old, on the brink of being institutionalized. Her building manager wants to make her leave because he believes she cannot take care of herself anymore. She drinks. Not too long ago she apparently fell and they had to break her chain on the door to help her. That prompted them to call the cab driver. I went along for the ride. I argued on her behalf with the manager and ulti9mately the owner. We agreed we would have her checked on to have a determination made as to her capacity.

Ultimately she would just as soon move as to be in that hell-hole anyway. I am going to try and find her a new place to live that is within her budget.

It is not unusual for a wheel chair bound MS patient to call me to pick up smokes or wine for her. Today we went to the bank with her in the car, but often I just bring her the stuff she needs. It works out best for both of us time wise. But she does like to get out of the house once in a while.

Downtown Driving Depravity

2005-02-24T20:14:00.000-05:00

First off I should just blurt out I am bi. It makes the story 25% less shocking.

Ok, so I am at a strip club, getting a dancer's number to make plans for later, and my phone rings. Its a drunk guy wanting me to come downtown to bring his drunk friend home. I tell him it will be about 20 minutes, and I finish up business as best I can, with a "I'll be back in 30 minutes" and I am off down town.

I collect the guy. He's a handsome burly guy that appears to have been coiffed by the fab five. Tank MCnamara meets Carson Kressley. He's in my cab saying how tired he is. I tell him I am tired too, and his would probably be my last call. I did afterall have a potential date with a dancer later. About half-way to his house, he asks for my hand. I expect him to shake it or kiss it, both happen quite a bit in gratitude. But instead I found it encircling his wrist.

But it was not his wrist. I thought to myself, surely his wrist is not this average sized wrist of which I have in my hand, when I realized it was his thick cock in my hand. After a few more exploratory feels, I started moving my hand up and down to his groans. When we pulled up in front of his house, he somehow leapt up front. We started to kiss and I put my hand back down on it. Eventually I went down on him, chokingly. I took breaks explaining I had to go. He challenged me to say I did not want to come in. I agreed I did, but had other commitments I had to live up to. I got him out of the cab, and I drove back to the strip club. It was closed. I called the dancer and she said to call her in the morning when I woke up.

This is where the story comes to a screetching un-interesting hairpin turn. In the parking lot I got a call from another drunk friend that needed a ride for another friend. I went down there, but the FOaF was not wanting to go with me. So I needed up bringing F#1 home instead. By the time I finished with that I knew the first guy would be sound asleep. So I went home. The next morning I called the dancer and got her voicemail. No return call. Later the original friend caller, asked me if he called me the previous night, and he said he remembered nothing but puking in the bar bathroom. I found out later that the Puker had taken the Rider home and then passed out, so the rider came back to the bar, and the puker saw him macking and called me to bring him home. So I did not tell him this story. There may be something between them. I am not sure.

Mentors

2005-01-31T12:20:00.000-05:00

There comes a time in every mentor / mentoree symbiosis, where the student can surpass the teacher. I am not saying I have done that. I am not yet one month in the business. Burnout happens within the first 6 mos. But there are some signs of that progression.

He is still referring people to me. Two such called me yesterday asuming he was off Sunday as usual. I casually mentioned to one of them that he was working when I found out. Later I ran into the client at the bar he was working, when I dropped off another passenger. He made arrangements for me to bring him home.

Later, when I went to get him, I saw my mentor's cab in front. I knocked on his window to joke around with him, and he jokingly acted mad at me. He said he stopped by to see if the guy needed a ride. But he had been told about our arrangements.

A few other of "his" customers are calling me now first instead of just when he is busy. One even called him out and said "I am getting quality service". I am not certain but I think it is possible that he or I was set up last week.

The reason for the fallout with the previous customer is that arrangements had been made for a prepaid round trip. When it was time to return, the mentor was on a long run, and it would be about an hour. An hour later when the customer called back, he was on another long run. I was called by the cabbie, and went to get the customer. The customer has called me only ever since.

Last week, the cabbie ran into the customer, and tried to make small talk. The customer said he was getting quality service. That very night my mentor called me about helping him on a long haul. When I agreed, I called thge customer to tell him I was getting ready to go on a long haul, and wanted to give him a heads up.

He said omigod omigod, can you come get us now. I did and went on my long haul. Later that week he told me about the running into him. Now I have to wonder, was the lesson for me as a cabby, in how you do not want to turn down a long haul? Or was it for the customer to see how easy it is for someone to get tied up with ambigious return trips. In any case, I had the forsight to call the customer because I had a feeling he may have been ready to leave, and the customer knew exactly what was going on. I have not mentioned this to the mentor. But if it was a test, I passed.

Dave

2005-01-26T13:55:00.000-05:00

Dave was a young guy. He got in back. Shortly underway, he appeared awkward. He started sighing. I asked if he was all right. He said he was fine, then made an ambiguous statement about "Looking for something he's not finding". I let this pass, and gave a non-committal grunt as an answer. He went on, to say he's of the age, he doesn't care who sucks his dick, a man or a woman. I mentioned the old queer straight guy seduction phrase, a Mouth is a mouth. He did not quite comprehend that. He then went on saying he did not know the difference since he's only had his dick sucked one, and it was by a woman.

I still let this go. I brought up the adult bookstores and what goes on there. He did not know about them, and was quite interested. He then asked what I went for when I went to them. He did not believe me when I said I didn't go. But I told him I was bisexual. He asked what time I got off, and asked if I wanted a good fuck. I told him 3 and he said he may be asleep by then. After he paid I said I usually took a break around 10, but he did not respond. A woman was waiting for him on the front step. Probably his mom.

Julie

2005-01-26T13:51:00.000-05:00

Julie appeared in my front seat after a brought a bunch of drunk kids to a party, quite a ways from campus. She said "Take me home". I asked her where and she was going and she was able to say "state street". I headed back toward campus and she got on the phone. She was calling some guy. The call did not seem to go well. She handed me the phone for directions to the guy's house, but he told me she should not come over and gave me directions to her house. She was one block over from State on Conn Terrace. When she called him back, he made it clear she was not welcome. When she asked where she should go, her response was "He doesn't know where I live". She then turned to me and asked me where she lived. When I told her, she looked at me surprised and asked how I knew. When I told her the guy told me she was very disappointed.

When we got to conn terrace, she did not want to get out of the cab. I told her I had to pick someone else up she stayed in the front seat. I was just picking up Chuck, and I knew that would be Ok. But my call after that was 4 guys out at Deja Vu. No room for a drunk girl.

After we dropped Chuck off she asked me to take her home. I told her I would, and she said "not my home". She told me how cool I was, how great I was, and she loved me. Drunk people are so flattering. I got the distinct impression she meant take her to my house. She had already opened up to me about her man, and how she knows its over, but keeps wanting to go back to him. When I got her to her house, she could not find her keys. We got her inside, by waking up her roommate. When I got back, I found her wallet, I dropped it back with a note and a card. I doubt she remembered who I was the next day.

Dudley

2005-01-24T10:03:00.000-05:00

Dudley is a fortyish guy that is currently going through a divorce. He lives about five miles out of town and does not know the street address of his farm. It was easy to find, and its name was on the gate. He was my first reservation on New Year's Eve. He was a referral from my Mentor, John.

Dudley was going to a party at Griffin Gate, a gated resort community, and was not about to drive. At the appointed hour, I arrived to pick him up and he was not quite ready. He was somewhat surprised he had made such an early appointment. He had me start the meter while he walked his dog. He made small talk for a bit, then got on his phone. When we arrived at GG, he restated the appointed time to fetch him, but wanted to make sure he could call me earlier if he got too tired. I agreed. He did not call.

When I got there again, he was still at the table and was not quite ready to go. He again told me to start the meter but come back in an hour. I gace him an hour and 10 minutes, and he was still having fun. They were all dancing. I bet I could have got points for joining in. We got under way.

The next time I heard from him was a few weeks later. He asked if I could get his car home for him, like John does. I assured him I could, and he agreed to call me when he was more certain of his times. He called me around 8:15 to tell me he would be ready at 9, and would be at Solid Platinum, a gentleman's club. I said I would and if I got there early, I would have to just "suffer though" watching naked people dance. He laughed and said he would by me a couch dance if I got there early. I got there at 8:30. I went to the bouncer and explained I was Dudley's driver, and that he was in the VIP room. He left to confirm and told me D said i was a bit early, so i should go up there and wait for him. When I arrived in the VIP room, he repeated that, and said he would buy me a couch dance. They got a new dancer over for me, and she negotiated an all nude dance for me. When it was over, she came over to the table to get paid. I had already tipped her. Dudley paid her, and then said he wanted another hour.

I called my other cabbie friend, Duke, the one that was going to pick me up at the farm, and said we were delayed about an hour. He was a bit iffy when I told him, and I then told him what Dudley had just told me. He'd be paying us double. Duke was in. At 10:00 I arrived and Dudley was ready to go. I called Duke and told him it was "Go time". We ended up splitting $100. I suppose to be fair, I should have given Duke a couch dance, but I doubt he'd have been into it.

Names Names Names, Sweetie Darling

2005-01-24T10:02:00.000-05:00

The order in which these names appear are random, especially at first as I commit them to this blog. Eventually they'll evolve to a chronilogical order, but some may be forgotten now, and remembered later.

Cast of Characters

2005-01-22T12:18:00.000-05:00

When I started driving a cab in Lexington Kentucky, I knew the experience would be rich with stories. Not having a narrative, I am starting with a focus on the cast of characters. Some of these people are only in my cab one, some repeat their visits like a good ensemble cast. Until I come up with anything further, I am going to create a cast list. The people are real, but I will not be using their real names. My name is not even Louie.