Nippular Areas

A lot of my business is at strip clubs. Every so often, customers offer to flash me their chest for a break on the fare. My answer has always been, thanks but it doesn't pay the bill. But then I got to thinking. I see a lot of them in the normal course of my work. Just popping into the clubs to get a patron, I am often inundated with topless dancers. But I had no idea how many.

I am currently conducting a study. I am counting the breasts I see. One by one, each day. I am not trying to maximize my numbers, so I am not actively looking, and I am not averting my eyes. I want an accurate count of each and every mammary that enters my field of vision.

Here is my counting scheme.

1. Full frontal, counts as two.


2. Side View, counts as one, unless it is instantly part of a turn or spin. If the dancer is actively dancing toward the side of the stage it still counts as one only, even if I ultimately see both later within a short period of time.


3. If I tell a dancer or employee of the club I am counting, their breasts are disqualified from my count.


4. "Penalty points" for when a dancer is briefly covering herself up as she walks by topless. These t-shirt covered ones, count zero, but I considered deducting 2 points from the total, but changed my mind.


5. Each dancer can only be counted once per day.


6. Only live girls count. No pictures.

Results so far
Day one 9
Day two 0
Day three 18
day four 0
I'll be counting for at leats a week, maybe two.