Louie the Cab Driver

Sunday, July 23, 2006

as I was winding down from a wild ride

Last night it was back to back calls once again. I had to pass on a few because I was too far away, but overall they meshed pretty well. I had some "late" breakfast plans around 5 so I headed home to chill for a bit, when I got one last call. It was a round trip from a hotel to a White Castle.

Apparently the man had seen Harold and Kumar go to White Castle and had never been to one. He tried to get the limo driver to go through the drive through, but he refused. A baseball player had offered to take him in his car, but the player had had a drink, and the guy thought the better of it. So he asked the concierge at the hotel when he got back. Reportedly, she started laughing at the request, and called him a cab. Ultimately I was the cab.

The guy was so excited. He ordered a "Crave Caee" (a 30-pack) 2 bacon cheeseburgers, 2 orders each of fries and mozzerella sticks. The crave case comes in a handy stuitcase style box with a handle. He spent $25, which is not hard to do at Arby's but quite a challenge at Whitie's.

I fancy myself as a White Castle authority, which is why I think the call was given to me. I explained all sorts of White Castle lore. I explained why there are holes in the meat. I even told them about the fiscal responsibility of the corporation. They do not finance their buildings, nor franchise. The guy wants to have a White Castle down where he lives, due to a large number of traveling Ohioans.

When he got back to the hotel his fare had hit $16.40. He slipped me a pair of Jacksons and he was off, happy as a little boy in play-land. So his final toll for the food was about $65. But when you think of the mastercard commercial.....

Burgers $25
Cab Fare $17
Tip #23
Busting your White Castle cherry..... priceless.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Wild Weekend

Generally I just work 11-3 monday through saturday and thats very scetchy until thursday. But this week, I've been slamming. I took both Monday and Wednesday almost completely off, and I'm glad I did, because I made up for it last night and friday.

My cabbie wife (Jerry) and I have this tradition of seeing who can be first to "call it" as in a good night. He and I work very different angles on the cab business so it is not unusual for our experiences to diverge on any given night. My customer base is party animals. His is hotel guests. We overlap in our college clients and we both take hosre industry overflow from the industry leader, Davey.

On any given night, I prefer my calls to flow into one another. This means I go from point A to point B and get a call from B' very close to B. B' to C then I get a call from C' and so on. This happened friday night by 8:30 so I called it. It also happend saturday evening by 6:30 and I called it again. Jerry, not actually my wife, he's totally straight, I also refer to him as my hetersexual life partner, ala Silent Bob and Jay. But we actually resemble one another and both Silent Bob at that. The irony of this will not be lost on anyone that knows "jerry's" real name.

The serendipity of rides came to a beautiful apex friday night. It was abotu over, I was very tired. I got a call from a strip club I "work" and headed over there. I work it because it is very convenient to my house, and on slow nights I can hang at my house, watch TV or stuff, and get there within 5 minutes. But this time I was 20 minutes away. I told her I'd head that way, and if they were still there I'd take them otherwise I'd just go home. When I showed up another 2 cabs were already there. I called the front desk and confirmed the people should have already been outside. Guessing they were in one of the 2 cabs, I kept driving and went to the nearby super america store. As I was loading up on snacks, they called back and said they had a party of 5 for me. Since I drive a mini van, I can handle parties larger than the normal max 4. I got there, and there were many people needing cabs.

The club had just exited the building, and the people that did not plan ahead were in up-the-creek-land. As I was approached I explained I was reserved for a large party. They were kind of unhappy, as you can imagine. I also know that starting about 30 minutes prior, the waitresses start asking their drunker patrons if they need a cab. "no no, we're alright" is often the answer.

So my party loads, and its "lottery call". So described because it is well above the normal fare. Standard out of that place is about 9-12 bucks. This was a 3 party three stop. In one general direction but a few detours on the way. At the first stop the gentleman asked about what I thought the rest of the ride would be, and I told him about $25 or so. He gave me $40. I continued make the rest of the stops. During this Jerry called me and said he was driving a customers car home for her, and he would need a ride back to his cab downtown. This is a little known service we do for special customers. Essentially for the price of a round trip and a good tip, we'll get your car home.

The clincher of this whole deal is he was going to point D and my final destination on my lottery call was D'. And we were en route simultaneously. When I cleared, I called and told him I was running low on gas, and if he was waiting for me, I could get him right away, but I needed gas. He was still enroute, giving me time to stop at the gas station that was between D and D'.

That is what we call cabby Kharma. Earlier that night I had been doing the A-B, B'-C, C'-E thing to great success. I was hungry so I detoured to the border for a spicy chicken cruntch wrap supreme and a big tea. On my way back I heard a call on the raidio. It was on the other side of downtown, so I agreed to take it. When I was on the street, the call canceled. Its a well known experience of mine that in the rain, people call multiple cabs, and (hopefully) cancel the others after the first one gets there. Knowing my personal customer base was out in full force, I clicked my radio off. I did not need the distraction.

Other drivers that live and die by the dispatch must watch me in action in wonder. I worked 7 hours friday night taking only one call off the radio and picking up one at the cab stand. I had a brief break to get food and gas, but not very long.

But it doesn't always work out like this. Toward the end of last night, I was dropping someone off near down town, and I get a call from Jerry. One of his favorites needed a ride and the Doomsday Cafe, and could I go get her. I agreed, called her and was there in 5 minutes. I show up and its a party of 4 one of which was splain on the ground puking. This is right as the bars close. When a lot of drivers, including me, make 75% of our income for the night. I could not afford to have someone puke in my cab. We charge $100 clean up fee, but its not enough to handle the bother for me. I had some of my own calling me at the same time. I have some regulars I call "the Power Lesbians". Sex in the city had some new yokers in this role, and they were all glamorous and that. Thats what these girls are. I had trouble explaing to the drunk kids how I did not have time to deal with Pukey McBarfbag. I called Jerry and ordered him to come clean up his won mess. During this melee, the PL called and I barked into the phone, I had to call them back. Before it was over they called again, and I screamed "Kerry What?!?" I vagueley heard some yelling back, I cleared up my drunk people, and told the PL I was on my way to them.

When I got them in the cab, I told Kerry I may have yelled, and she said forget about it, she needed to blow off some steam, and it was fine. I continued to explain what was going on, and she was truly uninterested nor upset by it. I got them home, turned around and finished my night with my bar employees, like I do most every night.

I later found out Jerry had no idea the guy was puking, just that it was "urgent" and "he's really drunk".

Monday, July 10, 2006

flight time

I had my first runaway fare today. Most other drivers have had them. What made mine different is I had the time and inclination to pursue the police option. The party had me pick them up at a Lexington Hotel and take them to get their car at AAMCo. It was closed so they said they needed to go to Georgetown. They did not seem to care about the shorter milage route, and acted as though the expense did not matter.

Thinking back, of course it did not matter. They did not plan on paying for it. These people did not realize I am a proud owner of the Hardy Boys Detective Handbook, and read it religiously. I remembered their room at the hotel. But back to the trip.

On the way they started bad mouthing the police. I muttered in tacit commiseration so they definately felt I disliked the police as well. All I really said was I did not like the current ad campaign by the highway patrol: "Bluelights over the Bluegrass". So they have me pull up to a house, but out of view of the back yard. They said something about hoping his mother's house was unlocked in the back, and quickly dissapeared around the house. I noticed someone peaking out through the blinds, and shortly thereafter a dominos pizza car came up. A teen ager answered the door. I then went up and knocked as well. I explained to the kid that I had dropped some people off and they were going to go in the back, he said they lived behind him.

I then simply went around the block parked in front of the house. Shortly thereafter a grey-haired woman came to the door and I walked up. I explained I dropped a man and a girl off behind her house. Se said they came for some keys and they left. I then explained I was calling the police. This is where they should have made good on the $60 some dollars they owed me by now. The police came on short order. Three, as a matter of fact. Small time crime in a small town. They were familiar with the perpetrator quite well, so I think he is a habitual trouble-maker.

I made a point of telling the responding officer the passenger's disdain for the police. Counting on a little Mucho Bravado, I got the response I expected. "We'll see what we can do to catch them..." I then told him, that their reaction toward law enforcement had a lot to do with me filing the report.

The officers went up to the house and talked with the mother, but she would not let them in. They believe he's still in there. Chances are if he has any warrants out for his arrest, this may be all they need to apprehend him. On my way back from Georgetown the police called me again, and asked me where I picked them up. I gave them the motel and the room number. Thinking things through, chances are they skipped on their motel room too, and now, even if they registered under a fake name, the police know his true identity.

I may get some more satisfaction out of this, but I did it mostly out of the principle. My chance of recovering any money is minimal. But I know that theft such as this goes tot he county attorney's office it can mess you up.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

My Favorite Career

People that meet me in my current career as part time cab driver are often a bit confused. I can imagine some of their thoughts. "I wonder what he did that he has to drive a cab now?" or "gee he seems so smart..." or "Funny my husband never asks for a second cup of coffee when I make it".

What these people do not know, is that I have pursued every single one of my dreams. well except maybe one, more on that later. I also realized they were just that. The reality could never live up to the dream. When I was in college, I wanted to work in "finance" something involving money. Not the movie theater business I worked at during colllege and shortly thereafter, but loans and stuff. I soon had a job as Loan Representative at a place called The Higher Education Assistance Foundation. It was such a snooty sounding company, I frequently got "wow" as a response when I told people where I worked. I was so proud. I took the bus to work, had a transfer and as I waited with my fellow riders for the second bus, I knew I had the best job among them. I could not understand why they all were not striving to be "Loan Reps". But it wasn't long before it became tedious. Sure I could do it, but ugh, it was dull dull dull.

I ultimately pursued my next dream of being a college professor. I can teach well, I relate well to students and all that. I came to Kentucky to get a PhD in Economics. I quickly realized I did not have the patience for the research part of the job. I also found that the research was the main motivation behind professors careers. I applied for a Master of Science degree and quit the PhD Program. I decided University staff may be a good home for me. I worked for another snooty sounding organization "UK Equine Research Foundation". I was mostly support staff, and it too got tedious. Next I had the chance to move to a department that lost its only staff member. She died suddenly without ever training anyone in. I was brought in as a sort of forensic jobber to try and backwards engineer the job from what she produced. But I got bogged down in tedium. Really really bogged down.

This period brought me to a restaurant. I needed to buy a new car and my system of just in time budgeting (think paycheck to paycheck) would not allow me to fit in a car payment. So I took a PT job at night to save money for a new car. Ihad not waited tables since I was a teen ager. But something happened, I realized I liked it. I made good money at it, and I enjoyed it. But I did not feel I was fulfilling my potential.

I had quit my day job by that time and was working FT as a waiter, when a friend of mine offered me what my new dream job was. It was an internet job. I was offered a crazy high salary, and ambiguous duties, at best. I had free reign to do almost anything I wanted. I did everything asked of me, and then some. But the company was restructuring so a lot of my ideas, or the ones that cost money, were scuttled. I was so bored. But I did not feel I could afford to leave a job that paid so well, so I treaded water. Eventually the company went under, and I went back to waiting tables. Thats when I realized the service industry was where I was most happy.

In college, I loved my movie theatre job, but it was not "professional" enough for the likes of me. So I thought. I am not sure when it clicked with me that I liked helping others, but I think I come across it honestly. My grandparents were in the hospitality industry through my dad's and my childhood. I literaly grew up as a young concierge.

After I had a life changing surgery, I found I did not have the energy to work. At least not a set schedule. I was sleeping a lot of the time due to my heart medications. I knew some cab drivers and asked them if they thought I could do it. I knew I could, but was not sure I'd be good, or that I'd enjoy it.

What an understatement. I think from the third day, I knew I loved it. It is absolutely perfect for me. I have attention deficit disorder (ADD) so repeition gets tedious to me. I am easily distracted. To compensate for this I have developed a short cut mentality. I had become used to the cash-a-day lifestyle as a waiter so the other big obsticle for a lot of people was also not a challenge for me. The short cuts help me be more efficient getting form A-B.

Driving a cab is a lot of small tasks. Bring Bob from Kroger to home. End. Take Margie to the liquor store and back. End. No matter how bad any one of them may be, there is a very quick end in sight. No dread of an eight hour day. Ironically I hate to drive. When I had to go to the mall for something, you would have thought I had to drive to Florida. But driving a cab is not the same as driving. I believe the difference is this. Driving myself to the mall was a waste of time necessary to complete a task - buy Blue Malva at the Aveda Shop. But driving someone to the Mall for them to go to Macy's, WAS the task. AND I could pop inside for my Blue Malva having got paid for the trip as a bonus. All of a sudden I could run my errands and pick up fares on the way.

Not many people can say they made $30 on their way to Target to go shopping. Also, stress is a big concern foir me. It is thought, besides family history, the way I dealt with stress was one of my chief risk factors for my heart attacks. In a set job, even waiting tables, you have to work under stressfull conditions. Driving a cab I am my own boss, and can quit for the day whenever I want. If I hve a particularly stressfull fare, I will often go home pet my dogs lay down or even quit for the night. I have quite a few remedies.

I like to say I can work whenevr I want. But the truth is, while I can work whenever I want, I can only make money when the customers want a ride. To this end, I have adjusted myself to a routine. I have some of the best customers in the business. "Signal Tens" are when someone requests a particular driver. Its a radio code from the old days. But now with mobile phones S-10s come to me by way of phone. It is not unusual for me to be dozing at home in front of the TV when someone will call and I am off. I feel like Batman. My Bat-phone rings, and I get my Bat-cowboy hat, and jump into my Bat-cab and am off - de de de de de de de..... You can guess what my other dream job was. Crime fighter.

My customers are so great and so loyal, I refer to them as Signal Twenties. They are twice as good. I realized how loyal they where this past weekend, when I had to reuse my old Virgin Mobile phone. When I started driving 18 mos ago, I started with a prepaid phone. I knew it would be important, but did not want to commit to the job or a phone contract at first. As I looked through the saved numbers I garnered during my first two weeks of driving, I noticed just about all of them are still riding with me.

I have never been happier doing anything in my life. I think I was happy with my first Loan Rep job, but it did grow tedious as I sat and entered stuff in computers all day and heard the same excuses for late payments over and over.

Sometimes I wonder if the following in your fathers footsteps ever skips a generation. The jobs I have enjoyed have often been held by my ancestors. My maternal grandfather was a streetcar conductor, and my paternal grandfather was a long haul trucker (also owning a resort). I did not mention my love of cooking, but I do love it. One of my great Grandfathers was a cook at a logging camp. My dad was a CPA and airline executive. Not exactly hands on service. But he also told me he was never happy in those careers, that he was just doing it to earn a living to support us. I do know he hates the hospitality industry though. I guess airlines is service and transportation though. So I guess it may still count.

All in all, I treat every day as a gift. I wake up and look forward to getting in my cab and working. I bought my own cab after eight mos of driving. I only do it 25 hours a week or so. But I do not think I'd want to do anything else.